It's new year and I have resumed writing ..!
{Note: When I heard 49 students from JNVs ended their lives I could not resist writing this. Generally students over there are very tough as I did my schooling from one of the JNVs. Apart from students, current young generation is under tremendous pressure of winning everything. We must learn to accept failure. It is okay to lose arguments and it is okay to move on and find a better life. }
Read on!
Year 2014 to 2016 , I suffered from depression which is very common in India over last few years i.e approximately 10 million cases per year. I fought with my family everyday for every small issue. I thought everyone around me were trying to overpower me so I tried to argue with every friend of mine to win the arguments. Mostly it was self esteem issues and social pressure of trying to be that perfect man who can do every right thing. I cared for little things which were meant to be ignored and every petty issues disturbed me. I fought with best friends regularly and anxiety levels were at peak. I listened to none and at times I even thought of leaving every one in order to detach from the system. Best friends were afraid to speak on my behavioral issues. It was a torture on myself for two years as I cried in silence everyday. Friends and Sahana stood like a pillar along with me over these years but I never realized all of the help I was getting. I thought in reverse order that dear ones are trying to move away from me until few turn of events in 2016 and 2017 which pushed me out of depression.
I got married in first half of 2016 but depression continued to haunt me which was hidden behind the marriage photos and friendly selfies. After a month of marriage , Sahana my wife was hospitalized with life threatening viral-myocarditis. She was very young but the condition deteriorated so badly that Sahana who had her breakfast in the morning at 9'0 clock was in ventilator by 3'0 clock and at 4'0 clock doctors called me to inform that she might not survive for more than thirty minutes. They instructed me to let our parents and our well wishers to be present in her last minutes. I felt numb and helpless , cried and ran around hospital not knowing of what to be done. I couldn't call anyone except crying and hurting myself. Nurses looked at me in vain and their expressions troubled me further.
But then, friends stepped in to the scene. One of them picked up my phone and informed our parents and every well wisher of us to be present at the earliest. All of them arrived as early as possible and while all this happened, Sahana was fighting so hard that she survived next thirty minutes and stood strong the whole night. Our doctor friend arrived over night from Delhi to Bangalore as he got to know of the situation and decided the next coarse of treatment. Friends who were on a drive cut short their trip and drove back to hospital in Bangalore. College friends who never spoke to me while in college (who are in abroad now) got to know of my situation had sent messages offering help. Sahana's friends offered everything they could. Insurance claims delayed but friends poured lakhs of money and paid all my bills.
She was moved to a better facility where advanced treatment called ECMO was available. She went into coma and closest friends (whom I thought were moving away from me) stayed all day and night in my car outside the hospital. Friends (who I felt were over powering me) cried with me for days. We fought a battle together outside the hospital while Sahana fought even harder battle inside the hospital. She needed 30 units of blood as a precaution of upcoming surgery and people from all walks of life rushed to hospital and donated more than what I asked for. She had a multi organ failure including heart, lungs, liver, kidney etc but she fought like a champion and in 21 days after the trauma she was declared fit to be discharged.
By now I had realised all the help I was offered even earlier and understood that it was me who refused the help. World is really kind but we but I had never tried to speak out with my friends about my depression because I did not know I was in one such. Having zero money in my savings account to spending almost 15 lakhs for the treatment, everything was possible because of the help I was offered. It took another six months for her to recover completely. She was on wheel chair for months but ensured she recovered so well for all the moral support from my closest friends who visited her for months on a daily basis and a supporting family members.
Things were in control by mid of 2016. Moving on in 2017, I started farming along with Sahana and we have failed many times on the farm. We have spent hundreds of hours with my mom learning about farming also about various flavours of life. Spending time with her has helped us a lot. Today we both realize success and failure are part of life and farming has conveyed that to us. I have learnt to fail and try again. Farming has added tremendous value to our life. We almost grow everything we eat while sweating hard on our weekends. We share the extra yield and we value our yield. I try not to react on every social networking post like politics, news etc as we have hundreds of issues on farm to be solved. Today she is a healthy lady and I am a strong man who are back to normal and leading a wonderful life. She is currently serving government of Karnataka and is declared fit to be a government servant. This is all because I was offered help. I have realized best help is self help. Me and Sahana thank the world everyday and keep our friends, family on our daily prayers. We try to help others in our own capacity.
Life has come a full circle now as I meet friends regularly and they are not afraid anymore to speak out their heart again. They tease me , they laugh at me for my mischief and they scold me like they used to for my mistakes. I ignore the social pressure of trying to be perfect. I realize now that I make mistakes and people are okay to taunt me. While I learn many things , I ignore petty issues. I laugh a lot now and fight very less. My parents are happy bunch and my friends like to meet me now.
People out there, who are in trouble and fighting issues of anxiety, depression and societal pressure, please speak to your dear ones and know that there are lot many people to help you and count me in !! Not everyone are required to have a big turn of events like I had to in order to realize the value of life. Every life counts! Take medical help if required. If you are fighting regularly , feeling sad every time for small issues, you feel hatred on people for the difference of opinion , you need help. We just do not realize how beautiful the world is and there are so many kind people.
Stop knowing more about crime and stop reading negative stuffs over the Internet. Stop reacting to that every post on the your Facebook feed. Not everything posted over Instagram is original but posted with filters applied. Don't be afraid to unfriend that one who keeps spreading hatred and negativity. Stop trying to be perfect. It's okay to fail and it's okay to learn from mistakes. Do not hold grudges, give it all you have and accept what you only need. Plant more trees , use less plastic and try to work on farm fields when ever possible. Be ambitious but not greedy. Buy what you need and try to invest in your future. Buy a medical insurance and do not over commit on your life. Grow a tree and reap a harvest. Watch the life blossom! Do whatever you like to do, irrespective of what others think of you. Laugh a lot , try to create a positive impact.
Happy new year, Bring it on !!
ಕನ್ನಡದ ಸಾರಾಂಶ : ಈ ಮುಂಚೆ ಸಾಮಾನ್ಯವಾಗಿದ್ದ ನಾನು 2014 - 2016 ರ ಈ ಎರಡು ವರ್ಷದಲ್ಲಿ ಖಿನ್ನತೆ (ಡಿಪ್ರೆಷನ್) ಎಂಬ ಕಾಯಿಲೆಯಿಂದ ಬಳಲುತ್ತಿದ್ದೆ. ದಿನ ಬೆಳಗಾದರೆ ಅಪ್ಪ ಅಮ್ಮನಲ್ಲಿ ಜಗಳ, ತಮ್ಮನಿಗೆ ಬೈಗುಳ ಮತ್ತೆ ಸ್ನೇಹಿತರೊಡನೆ ಹೊಡೆದಾಟ. ಎಲ್ಲ ವಿಷಯದಲ್ಲೂ ನಾನೇ ಗೆಲ್ಲಬೇಕೆಂಬ ಕೆಟ್ಟ ಹಠ ಬೆಳೆದುಹೋಗಿತ್ತು. ಸೋಲಲು ಧೈರ್ಯವೇ ಉಳಿದಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಆತ್ಮೀಯ ಸ್ನೇಹಿತರೊಡನೆ ಮಾತನಾಡಲು ಭಯದ ವಾತವರಣವನ್ನ ನಾನೇ ನಿರ್ಮಿಸಿಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದೆ. ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನು ಸರಿಯಾಗಿಯೇ ಮಾಡಬೇಕೆಂದು ಪ್ರಯತ್ನಿಸಿ ಸೋತಾಗ ಬಹಳ ನೋವಾಗುತಿದ್ದಿದ್ದು ಇಂದಿಗೂ ನೆನಪಿದೆ. ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನು ಗೆಲ್ಲಲು ಹೋಗಿ, ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನು ಪಡೆಯಲು ಹೋಗಿ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ್ದು ಬರಿ ಜಗಳ, ನೋವು ಮತ್ತು ದುಃಖ. ಕೊನೆ ಕೊನೆಗೆ ಇದೆಲ್ಲದರ ಬಿಡುಗಡೆಯ ಯೋಚನೆಯನ್ನು ಮಾಡಿದ್ದಿತ್ತು. ಸ್ನೇಹಿತರಿಂದ ಸಹಾಯವನ್ನು ಪಡೆದಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. 2016 ಮತ್ತು 2017 ರಲ್ಲಿ ನಡೆದ ಕೆಲವು ಘಟನೆಗಳಿಂದ ಖಿನ್ನತೆಯಿಂದ ಈಚೆ ಬರಲು ಸಾಧ್ಯವಾಯಿತು.
2016 ರ ಶುರುವಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಮದುವೆಯೂ ಆಗಿ ಹೋಯ್ತು. ನನ್ನ ಖಿನ್ನತೆಯನ್ನ ಆ ಮದುವೆಯ ಫೋಟೋಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಅಡಗಿಟ್ಟಿದ್ದೆ. ಮದುವೆಯಾದ ಮೊದಲ ತಿಂಗಳೇ ಸಹನಾಗೆ ವೈರಲ್ ಮಯೋಕಾರ್ಡೈಟಿಸ್ ತಗುಲಿ ಬದುಕುವ ಸಾಧ್ಯತೆಗಳು ಶೇಕಡಾ 1 % ಆಗಿತ್ತು. ಇನ್ನರ್ಧ ಘಂಟೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಅಪ್ಪ ಅಮ್ಮ ಮತ್ತು ಸ್ನೇಹಿತರೆಲ್ಲ ಬಂದು ಅವಳ ಮುಖವನ್ನ ಕೊನೆಯ ಬಾರಿ ನೋಡಲು ತಿಳಿಸಿದ್ದರು. ಈ ವಿಷಯ ತಿಳಿಸಲಾಗದೆ ಗೋಳಾಡಿದ್ದೆ. ಆದರೆ ವಿಷಯ ತಿಳಿದೊಡನೆ ನನಗೆ ಒದಗಿ ಬಂದ ಸಹಾಯದಿಂದ ನಾನು ದಂಗಾಗಿದ್ದೆ. ಡಾಕ್ಟರ್ ಸ್ನೇಹಿತನೊಬ್ಬ ದೆಹಲಿಯಿಂದ ರಾತ್ರೋ ರಾತ್ರಿ ಬೆಂಗಳೂರಿಗೆ ಬಂದವನೇ ಮುಂದಿನ ಚಿಕಿತ್ಸೆಯೇನೆಂಬುದನ್ನು ನಿರ್ಧರಿಸಿದ್ದ. ನನ್ನ ಬಳಿ ಇದ್ದ ಇನ್ಸುರನ್ಸ್ ತಡವಾಗಿದ್ದ ಕಾರಣ ಲಕ್ಷ ಲಕ್ಷ ಹಣ ಇಟ್ಟು ಸಹನಾಳಿಗೆ ಚಿಕಿತ್ಸೆ ಕೊಡಲು ಸಹಕರಿಸಿದ್ದರು. ಅಲ್ಲಿಂದ ಸಹನಾ 21 ದಿನ ಆಸ್ಪತ್ರೆಯಲ್ಲಿದ್ದು ಕೋಮಾದಿಂದ ಹೊರಬಂದು ನಂತರ 6 ತಿಂಗಳು ವೀಲ್ ಚೇರ್ ನಲ್ಲೆ ಬದುಕಿ ಒಂದು ವರ್ಷದ ನಂತರ ಸಂಪೂರ್ಣ ಗುಣಮುಖವಾಗಿ ಸಾಮಾನ್ಯಳಂತೆ ಬದುಕಲು ಸಾಧ್ಯವಾಯಿತು. ಪ್ರಪಂಚದ ಎಲ್ಲ ಮೂಲೆಗಳಿಂದಲೂ ನನಗೆ ಸಹಾಯ ಅರಸಿ ಬಂದಿತ್ತು.
2017 ರಲ್ಲಿ ವ್ಯವಸಾಯ ಶುರು ಮಾಡಿದ್ದೆವು. ಇಬ್ಬರಿಗೂ ವ್ಯವಸಾಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಸೋಲಿನ ದರ್ಶನವಾಗಿತ್ತು. ಅಮ್ಮನ ಜೊತೆ ನೂರಾರು ಘಂಟೆ ಹೊಲಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಕಾಲ ಕಳೆಯುತ್ತಾ, ವ್ಯವಸಾಯ ಕಲಿಯುತ್ತಾ, ಜೀವನ ಪಾಠ ಕಲಿತಿದ್ದು ಬದುಕಿನ ದಾರಿಯಾಗಿದೆ.
ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ವ್ಯವಸಾಯ ನಮ್ಮ ಅಲೋಚನೆಯನ್ನೇ ಬದಲಿಸಿದೆ. ಸೋಲು ಗೆಲುವುಗಳ ಅಭ್ಯಾಸ ಆಗೋಗಿದೆ. ನಮಗೆ ಬೇಕಾದದ್ದನ್ನ ನಾವೇ ಬೆಳೆದುಕೊಂಡು ಊಟದ ಬೆಲೆ ತಿಳಿಯುವ ಪ್ರಯತ್ನ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದೇವೆ, ಹೆಚ್ಚಾಗಿ ಬೆಳೆದಿದ್ದನ್ನ ಹಂಚಿ ತಿಂದಿದ್ದೇವೆ. ಈಗ ನಮ್ಮಿಬ್ಬರ ಬದುಕಿಗೆ ಬಹಳ ಬೆಲೆಯಿದೆ ಎಂದು ಅರಿವಾಗಿದೆ.
ಸಾಮಾನ್ಯವಾಗಿ ಡಿಪ್ರೆಷನ್ ಎನ್ನುವುದು ಭಾರತದಲ್ಲಿ ಬಹಳ ವ್ಯಾಪಕವಾಗಿ ಹರಡುತ್ತಿದೆ. ವರ್ಷಕ್ಕೆ 1 ಕೋಟಿಗಿಂತಲು ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಜನರು ಡಿಪ್ರೆಶನ್ ನಿಂದ ಬಳಲುತ್ತಿದ್ದಾರೆ. ಇದು ಆತ್ಮಹತ್ಯೆಗೂ ಕರೆದೊಯ್ಯುವುದು ಸಹಜ ಯೆಂದನಿಸುತ್ತದೆ. ಆದ್ದರಿಂದ ನಿಮಗೇನಾದರು ಬಹಳ ವೇದನೆಯಾಗುತ್ತಿದರೆ , ಸಣ್ಣ ಪುಟ್ಟ ವಿಷಯಗಳಿಗೆ ನೀವು ಜಗಳವಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದರೆ, ಹತ್ತಿರದವರ ಮೇಲೆಯೇ ಅನುಮಾನಗಳು ಮೂಡಿ ಪ್ರಪಂಚ ಬೇಡವೆನಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದರೆ ಆಗಿದ್ದಾಗಿನಿಂದಲೇ ಹತ್ತಿರದವರ ಜೊತೆ ಮಾತನಾಡಿ ಅಥವಾ ವ್ಯೆದ್ಯಕೀಯ ಸಹಾಯ ಪಡೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳಿ. ನಾವು ಅಂದುಕೊಂಡ ಹಾಗೆ ಪ್ರಪಂಚ ಅಷ್ಟು ಕೆಟ್ಟದಿರುವುದಿಲ್ಲ. ಸೋಲುವುದನ್ನ ಒಪ್ಪಿ ಕೊಳ್ಳಿ, ಸೋತಾಗ ಆತ್ಮವಿಶ್ವಾಸ ಕುಗ್ಗದಿರಲಿ, ಸಕಾರ್ತ್ಮಕವಾಗಿ ಯೋಚನೆ ಮಾಡಿ ಸಹಾಯ ಪಡೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳಿ. ಎಲ್ಲರೂ ಗೆಲ್ಲಲೇ ಬೇಕೆಂದಿಲ್ಲ !
ಸೋಶಿಯಲ್ ಮಿಡಿಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಫೇಸ್ಬುಕ್ ನ ಎಲ್ಲ ಪೋಸ್ಟ್ ಗಳಿಗೆ ರಿಯಾಕ್ಟ್ ಮಾಡಿವುದನ್ನ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಿ.ಸುಳ್ಳು ವದಂತಿಗಳು ನಂಬಬೇಡಿ, ಹರಡಬೇಡಿ. ಇಂಟರ್ನೆಟ್ನಲ್ಲಿ ವಿಷಯಗಳನ್ನ ಓದಿ ಕ್ಷಣ ಮಾತ್ರಕ್ಕೆ ನಂಬುವುದು ಬೇಡವೇ ಬೇಡ. ನಿಮ್ಮದೇ ಆದ ಒಂದು ಪ್ರಪಂಚ ಕಟ್ಟಿಕೊಳ್ಳಿ ಜೊತೆಗೆ ಸ್ವಂತ ಜ್ಞಾನವನ್ನು ಮತ್ತಷ್ಟು ಹೆಚ್ಚಿಸಿ. ಇನ್ಸ್ಟಾಗ್ರಾಮ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ನೋಡಿ ಅದರಿಂದ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಉತ್ತೇಜನಗೊಳ್ಳದಿರಿ, ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಒರಿಜಿನಲ್ಗಿಂತ ಫಿಲ್ಟರ್ ಹಾಕಿರುವ ಜೀವನವನ್ನೇ ನೋಡಲು ಸಾಧ್ಯ. ಮರಗಳ ಬೆಳಸಿ , ಪ್ಲಾಸ್ಟಿಕ್ ಬಳಕೆ ಕಡಿಮೆ ಮಾಡಿ. ಎಲ್ಲರಿಗೂ ಸಹಾಯ ಮಾಡಿ.
ವಿ.ಸೂ : ಪೂರ್ಣ ಪ್ರಮಾಣವಾಗಿ ಅನುವಾದ ಮಾಡಲಾಗಿಲ್ಲ. ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಸಾರಾಂಶ ಹೆಕ್ಕಿ ಹಾಕಿದ್ದೇನೆ ಅಷ್ಟೇ.
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