I suffered from depression but the world is so kind. !

It's new year  and I have resumed writing ..!

{Note: When I heard 49 students from JNVs ended their lives I could not resist writing this. Generally students over there are very tough as I did my schooling from one of the JNVs. Apart from students, current young generation is under tremendous pressure of winning everything. We must learn to accept failure. It is okay to lose arguments and it is okay to move on and find a  better life. }

Read on! 

Year 2014 to 2016 , I suffered from depression which is very common in India over last few years i.e approximately 10 million cases per year. I fought with my family everyday for every small issue.  I thought everyone around me were trying to overpower me so I tried to argue with every friend of mine to win the arguments. Mostly it was self esteem issues and social pressure of trying to be that perfect man who can do every right thing. I cared for little things which were meant to be ignored and every petty issues disturbed me. I fought with best friends regularly and anxiety levels were at peak. I listened to none and at times I even thought of leaving every one in order to detach from the system. Best friends were afraid to speak on my behavioral issues. It was a torture on myself for two years as I cried in silence everyday. Friends and Sahana stood like a pillar along with me over these years but I never realized all of the help I was getting. I thought in reverse order that dear ones are trying to move away from me until few turn of events in 2016 and 2017 which pushed me out of depression.

I got married in first half of 2016 but depression continued to haunt me which was hidden behind the marriage photos and friendly selfies.  After a month of marriage , Sahana my wife was hospitalized with life threatening viral-myocarditis. She was very young but the condition deteriorated so badly that Sahana who had her breakfast in the morning at 9'0 clock was in ventilator by 3'0 clock and at 4'0 clock doctors called me to inform that she might not survive for more than thirty minutes. They instructed me to let our parents and our well wishers to be present in her last minutes. I felt numb and helpless , cried and ran around hospital not knowing of what to be done. I couldn't call anyone except crying and hurting myself. Nurses looked at me in vain and their expressions troubled me further.

But then,  friends stepped in to the scene.  One of them picked up my phone and informed our parents and every well wisher of us to be present at the earliest. All of them arrived as early as possible and  while all this happened, Sahana was fighting so hard that she survived next thirty minutes and stood strong the whole night. Our doctor friend arrived over night from Delhi to Bangalore as he got to know of the situation and decided the next coarse of treatment. Friends who were on a drive cut short their trip and drove back to hospital in Bangalore. College friends who never spoke to me while in college (who are in abroad now) got to know of my situation had sent messages offering help. Sahana's friends offered everything they could. Insurance claims delayed but friends poured lakhs of money and paid all my bills.

She was moved to a better facility where advanced treatment called ECMO was available. She went into coma and closest friends (whom I thought were moving away from me) stayed all day and night in my car outside the hospital. Friends (who I felt were over powering me) cried with me for days.  We fought a battle together outside the hospital while Sahana fought even harder battle inside the hospital. She needed 30 units of blood as a precaution of upcoming surgery and people from all walks of life rushed to hospital and donated more than what I asked for. She had a multi organ failure including heart, lungs, liver, kidney etc but she fought like a champion and in 21 days after the trauma she was declared fit to be discharged.

By now I had realised all the help I was offered even earlier and understood that it was me who refused the help. World is really kind but we but I had never tried to speak out with my friends about my depression because I did not know I was in one such.  Having zero money in my savings account to spending almost 15 lakhs for the treatment, everything was possible because of the help I was offered. It took another six months for her to recover completely. She was on wheel chair for months but ensured she recovered so well for all the moral support from my closest friends who visited her for months on a daily basis and a supporting family members.

Things were in control by mid of 2016. Moving on in 2017, I started farming along with Sahana and we have failed many times on the farm. We have spent hundreds of hours with my mom learning about farming also about various flavours of life. Spending time with her has helped us a lot. Today we both realize success and failure are part of life and farming has conveyed that to us. I have learnt to fail and try again. Farming has added tremendous value to our life. We almost grow everything we eat while sweating hard on our weekends. We share the extra yield and we value our yield. I try not to react on every social networking post like politics, news etc as we have hundreds of issues on farm to be solved. Today she is a healthy lady and I am a strong man who are back to normal and leading a wonderful life. She is currently serving government of Karnataka and is declared fit to be a government servant. This is all because I was offered help. I have realized best help is self help. Me and Sahana thank the world everyday and keep our friends, family on our daily prayers. We try to help others in our own capacity.

Life has come a full circle now as I meet friends regularly  and they are not afraid anymore to speak out their heart again. They tease me , they laugh at me for my mischief and they scold me like they used to for my mistakes. I ignore the social pressure of trying to be perfect. I realize now that I make mistakes and people are okay to taunt me. While I learn many things , I ignore petty issues. I laugh a lot now and fight very less. My parents are happy bunch and  my friends like to meet me now.

People out there, who are in trouble and fighting issues of anxiety, depression and societal pressure, please speak to your dear ones and know that there are lot many people to help you and count me in !! Not everyone are required to have a big turn of events like I had to in order to realize the value of life. Every life counts!  Take medical help if required. If you are fighting regularly , feeling sad every time for small issues, you feel hatred on people for the difference of opinion , you need help. We just do not realize how beautiful the world is and there are  so many kind people. 

Stop knowing more about crime and stop reading negative stuffs over the Internet. Stop reacting to that every post on the your Facebook feed. Not everything posted over Instagram is original but posted with filters applied. Don't be afraid to unfriend that one who keeps spreading hatred and negativity. Stop trying to be perfect. It's okay to fail and it's okay to learn from mistakes. Do not hold grudges, give it all you have and accept what you only need.  Plant more trees , use less plastic and try to work on farm fields when ever possible. Be ambitious but not greedy. Buy what you need and try to invest in your future. Buy a medical insurance and do not over commit on your life. Grow a tree and reap a harvest. Watch the life blossom! Do whatever you like to do,  irrespective of what others think of you. Laugh a lot , try to create a positive impact. 

Happy new year, Bring it on !! 

ಕನ್ನಡದ ಸಾರಾಂಶ :  ಈ ಮುಂಚೆ ಸಾಮಾನ್ಯವಾಗಿದ್ದ ನಾನು 2014 - 2016 ರ ಈ ಎರಡು ವರ್ಷದಲ್ಲಿ ಖಿನ್ನತೆ (ಡಿಪ್ರೆಷನ್) ಎಂಬ ಕಾಯಿಲೆಯಿಂದ ಬಳಲುತ್ತಿದ್ದೆ. ದಿನ ಬೆಳಗಾದರೆ ಅಪ್ಪ ಅಮ್ಮನಲ್ಲಿ ಜಗಳ, ತಮ್ಮನಿಗೆ ಬೈಗುಳ ಮತ್ತೆ ಸ್ನೇಹಿತರೊಡನೆ ಹೊಡೆದಾಟ. ಎಲ್ಲ ವಿಷಯದಲ್ಲೂ ನಾನೇ ಗೆಲ್ಲಬೇಕೆಂಬ ಕೆಟ್ಟ ಹಠ ಬೆಳೆದುಹೋಗಿತ್ತು. ಸೋಲಲು ಧೈರ್ಯವೇ ಉಳಿದಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಆತ್ಮೀಯ ಸ್ನೇಹಿತರೊಡನೆ ಮಾತನಾಡಲು ಭಯದ ವಾತವರಣವನ್ನ ನಾನೇ ನಿರ್ಮಿಸಿಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದೆ. ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನು ಸರಿಯಾಗಿಯೇ ಮಾಡಬೇಕೆಂದು ಪ್ರಯತ್ನಿಸಿ ಸೋತಾಗ ಬಹಳ ನೋವಾಗುತಿದ್ದಿದ್ದು ಇಂದಿಗೂ ನೆನಪಿದೆ. ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನು ಗೆಲ್ಲಲು ಹೋಗಿ, ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನು ಪಡೆಯಲು ಹೋಗಿ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ್ದು ಬರಿ ಜಗಳ, ನೋವು ಮತ್ತು ದುಃಖ. ಕೊನೆ ಕೊನೆಗೆ ಇದೆಲ್ಲದರ ಬಿಡುಗಡೆಯ ಯೋಚನೆಯನ್ನು ಮಾಡಿದ್ದಿತ್ತು. ಸ್ನೇಹಿತರಿಂದ ಸಹಾಯವನ್ನು  ಪಡೆದಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. 2016 ಮತ್ತು 2017 ರಲ್ಲಿ ನಡೆದ ಕೆಲವು ಘಟನೆಗಳಿಂದ ಖಿನ್ನತೆಯಿಂದ ಈಚೆ ಬರಲು ಸಾಧ್ಯವಾಯಿತು. 

2016 ರ ಶುರುವಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಮದುವೆಯೂ ಆಗಿ ಹೋಯ್ತು. ನನ್ನ ಖಿನ್ನತೆಯನ್ನ ಆ ಮದುವೆಯ ಫೋಟೋಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಅಡಗಿಟ್ಟಿದ್ದೆ. ಮದುವೆಯಾದ ಮೊದಲ ತಿಂಗಳೇ ಸಹನಾಗೆ ವೈರಲ್ ಮಯೋಕಾರ್ಡೈಟಿಸ್ ತಗುಲಿ ಬದುಕುವ ಸಾಧ್ಯತೆಗಳು ಶೇಕಡಾ 1 % ಆಗಿತ್ತು.  ಇನ್ನರ್ಧ ಘಂಟೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಅಪ್ಪ ಅಮ್ಮ ಮತ್ತು ಸ್ನೇಹಿತರೆಲ್ಲ ಬಂದು ಅವಳ ಮುಖವನ್ನ ಕೊನೆಯ ಬಾರಿ ನೋಡಲು ತಿಳಿಸಿದ್ದರು. ಈ ವಿಷಯ ತಿಳಿಸಲಾಗದೆ ಗೋಳಾಡಿದ್ದೆ. ಆದರೆ ವಿಷಯ ತಿಳಿದೊಡನೆ ನನಗೆ ಒದಗಿ ಬಂದ ಸಹಾಯದಿಂದ ನಾನು ದಂಗಾಗಿದ್ದೆ. ಡಾಕ್ಟರ್ ಸ್ನೇಹಿತನೊಬ್ಬ ದೆಹಲಿಯಿಂದ ರಾತ್ರೋ ರಾತ್ರಿ ಬೆಂಗಳೂರಿಗೆ ಬಂದವನೇ ಮುಂದಿನ ಚಿಕಿತ್ಸೆಯೇನೆಂಬುದನ್ನು ನಿರ್ಧರಿಸಿದ್ದ. ನನ್ನ ಬಳಿ ಇದ್ದ ಇನ್ಸುರನ್ಸ್ ತಡವಾಗಿದ್ದ ಕಾರಣ ಲಕ್ಷ ಲಕ್ಷ ಹಣ ಇಟ್ಟು ಸಹನಾಳಿಗೆ ಚಿಕಿತ್ಸೆ ಕೊಡಲು ಸಹಕರಿಸಿದ್ದರು. ಅಲ್ಲಿಂದ ಸಹನಾ 21 ದಿನ ಆಸ್ಪತ್ರೆಯಲ್ಲಿದ್ದು ಕೋಮಾದಿಂದ ಹೊರಬಂದು ನಂತರ 6 ತಿಂಗಳು ವೀಲ್ ಚೇರ್ ನಲ್ಲೆ ಬದುಕಿ ಒಂದು ವರ್ಷದ ನಂತರ ಸಂಪೂರ್ಣ ಗುಣಮುಖವಾಗಿ ಸಾಮಾನ್ಯಳಂತೆ ಬದುಕಲು ಸಾಧ್ಯವಾಯಿತು. ಪ್ರಪಂಚದ ಎಲ್ಲ ಮೂಲೆಗಳಿಂದಲೂ ನನಗೆ ಸಹಾಯ ಅರಸಿ ಬಂದಿತ್ತು. 

2017 ರಲ್ಲಿ ವ್ಯವಸಾಯ ಶುರು ಮಾಡಿದ್ದೆವು. ಇಬ್ಬರಿಗೂ ವ್ಯವಸಾಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಸೋಲಿನ ದರ್ಶನವಾಗಿತ್ತು. ಅಮ್ಮನ ಜೊತೆ ನೂರಾರು ಘಂಟೆ ಹೊಲಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಕಾಲ ಕಳೆಯುತ್ತಾ, ವ್ಯವಸಾಯ ಕಲಿಯುತ್ತಾ, ಜೀವನ ಪಾಠ ಕಲಿತಿದ್ದು ಬದುಕಿನ ದಾರಿಯಾಗಿದೆ. 

ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ವ್ಯವಸಾಯ ನಮ್ಮ ಅಲೋಚನೆಯನ್ನೇ ಬದಲಿಸಿದೆ. ಸೋಲು ಗೆಲುವುಗಳ ಅಭ್ಯಾಸ ಆಗೋಗಿದೆ. ನಮಗೆ ಬೇಕಾದದ್ದನ್ನ ನಾವೇ ಬೆಳೆದುಕೊಂಡು ಊಟದ ಬೆಲೆ ತಿಳಿಯುವ ಪ್ರಯತ್ನ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದೇವೆ, ಹೆಚ್ಚಾಗಿ ಬೆಳೆದಿದ್ದನ್ನ ಹಂಚಿ ತಿಂದಿದ್ದೇವೆ. ಈಗ ನಮ್ಮಿಬ್ಬರ ಬದುಕಿಗೆ ಬಹಳ ಬೆಲೆಯಿದೆ ಎಂದು ಅರಿವಾಗಿದೆ. 

ಸಾಮಾನ್ಯವಾಗಿ ಡಿಪ್ರೆಷನ್ ಎನ್ನುವುದು ಭಾರತದಲ್ಲಿ ಬಹಳ ವ್ಯಾಪಕವಾಗಿ ಹರಡುತ್ತಿದೆ. ವರ್ಷಕ್ಕೆ 1 ಕೋಟಿಗಿಂತಲು ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಜನರು ಡಿಪ್ರೆಶನ್ ನಿಂದ ಬಳಲುತ್ತಿದ್ದಾರೆ. ಇದು ಆತ್ಮಹತ್ಯೆಗೂ ಕರೆದೊಯ್ಯುವುದು ಸಹಜ ಯೆಂದನಿಸುತ್ತದೆ. ಆದ್ದರಿಂದ ನಿಮಗೇನಾದರು ಬಹಳ ವೇದನೆಯಾಗುತ್ತಿದರೆ , ಸಣ್ಣ ಪುಟ್ಟ ವಿಷಯಗಳಿಗೆ ನೀವು ಜಗಳವಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದರೆ, ಹತ್ತಿರದವರ ಮೇಲೆಯೇ ಅನುಮಾನಗಳು ಮೂಡಿ ಪ್ರಪಂಚ ಬೇಡವೆನಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದರೆ ಆಗಿದ್ದಾಗಿನಿಂದಲೇ ಹತ್ತಿರದವರ ಜೊತೆ ಮಾತನಾಡಿ ಅಥವಾ ವ್ಯೆದ್ಯಕೀಯ ಸಹಾಯ ಪಡೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳಿ. ನಾವು ಅಂದುಕೊಂಡ ಹಾಗೆ ಪ್ರಪಂಚ ಅಷ್ಟು ಕೆಟ್ಟದಿರುವುದಿಲ್ಲ. ಸೋಲುವುದನ್ನ ಒಪ್ಪಿ ಕೊಳ್ಳಿ, ಸೋತಾಗ ಆತ್ಮವಿಶ್ವಾಸ ಕುಗ್ಗದಿರಲಿ, ಸಕಾರ್ತ್ಮಕವಾಗಿ ಯೋಚನೆ ಮಾಡಿ ಸಹಾಯ ಪಡೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳಿ. ಎಲ್ಲರೂ ಗೆಲ್ಲಲೇ ಬೇಕೆಂದಿಲ್ಲ ! 

ಸೋಶಿಯಲ್ ಮಿಡಿಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಫೇಸ್ಬುಕ್ ನ ಎಲ್ಲ ಪೋಸ್ಟ್ ಗಳಿಗೆ ರಿಯಾಕ್ಟ್ ಮಾಡಿವುದನ್ನ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಿ.ಸುಳ್ಳು ವದಂತಿಗಳು ನಂಬಬೇಡಿ,  ಹರಡಬೇಡಿ.  ಇಂಟರ್ನೆಟ್ನಲ್ಲಿ ವಿಷಯಗಳನ್ನ ಓದಿ ಕ್ಷಣ ಮಾತ್ರಕ್ಕೆ ನಂಬುವುದು ಬೇಡವೇ ಬೇಡ. ನಿಮ್ಮದೇ ಆದ ಒಂದು ಪ್ರಪಂಚ ಕಟ್ಟಿಕೊಳ್ಳಿ ಜೊತೆಗೆ ಸ್ವಂತ ಜ್ಞಾನವನ್ನು ಮತ್ತಷ್ಟು ಹೆಚ್ಚಿಸಿ. ಇನ್ಸ್ಟಾಗ್ರಾಮ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ನೋಡಿ ಅದರಿಂದ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಉತ್ತೇಜನಗೊಳ್ಳದಿರಿ, ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಒರಿಜಿನಲ್ಗಿಂತ ಫಿಲ್ಟರ್ ಹಾಕಿರುವ ಜೀವನವನ್ನೇ ನೋಡಲು ಸಾಧ್ಯ. ಮರಗಳ ಬೆಳಸಿ , ಪ್ಲಾಸ್ಟಿಕ್ ಬಳಕೆ ಕಡಿಮೆ ಮಾಡಿ. ಎಲ್ಲರಿಗೂ ಸಹಾಯ ಮಾಡಿ. 

ವಿ.ಸೂ : ಪೂರ್ಣ ಪ್ರಮಾಣವಾಗಿ ಅನುವಾದ ಮಾಡಲಾಗಿಲ್ಲ. ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಸಾರಾಂಶ ಹೆಕ್ಕಿ ಹಾಕಿದ್ದೇನೆ ಅಷ್ಟೇ. 

To My Wife With Love..

Dear Sahana,

The day has come again.Good or bad I have decided to write for you on this day because we must learn to live both in tougher and happier times.It's been a tough week for all of us still mourning for your dad. We have spoken in length before this about how to be prepared for the worst .  And the worst has happened and we must move on. We realized soon after marriage that life is not a fairy tale but it's a long journey and we have to travel together admitting to the facts that we lose some of the great heads fighting the battle while we have to survive and reach the destination. That doesn't mean that you have to struggle everytime while the life is a beautiful journey with little struggles. Mantra is to Live the moment and move on. Your father was a good man and was the king of your family. Now it must be you the little princess who has to wear the armour , hold a sword and stand the guard for the kingdom he has built. I admit nothing can replace a father's love and We are all going to miss him but from now on we look up to you instead of him.

Dear Sahana,

In 2016, I ran behind you to fix everything and in 2017 its you who ran behind me to fix every other thing. You fixed so much that I have gained few extra more kilos both in the back and front with a fat tummy 😆😆 . Neighbour Kids have started to call me uncle but I dont feel bad about it except I make a promise to beat my tummy this year again to look normal. And as you promised you seem to have regularized your breakfast routine unlike last year. From weighing 32 KGS immediately after hospital discharge in 2016 to this day, you have perfectly regained the strength to look very healthy. And you don't worry about Appi and Phani pulling you for gaining weight because from now on Appi has the remote with priya (recently married) and Phani's six pack dream is turning out to be an eternity.

Dear Sahana,

Remember how good we felt holding Tagaru(Chethu's son) in our hands. Just born for Smitha and Soma , we together felt like taking him home for ourselves for ever. But then Smitha was ready with a sword to cut down our thoughts to make us realize that she has mothered 9 strong months to get beautiful Tagaru to this world. Such was the joy of holding him in our hands. Don't you tell me your are having a smile remembering him and your heart is pounding an extra or two more beats. He is lively and has grown up already while you were in home for a week now. Lot of good things have happened around our friends this year with Appi and Shavi getting married and us being part of their happy times. As I wrote last year, we have been part of their tough times as well as happier times and you have created an environment around us where we had a happy friendship times.

Dear Sahana,

Thank you for taking me to Gangavathi all the way to plant the trees. As committed last year we did our little to save the environment. And thank you for introducing some of the good friends at vruksha mitra who are doing a fabulous job of planting trees every year and I am proud to be part of their team. Inspired by you to help,  I donated little funds to army fund at bhartkeveer app which I think was another good thing we did as a family. We must care for the soldiers and environment. And thank you for infiltrating such thoughts into me. And best part of the year was when I got to meet Dr. Shanbhag sir at an event in Bangalore. I wanted to be part of this group by heart but I am taking some more time as I was politically affiliated towards politics from longtime. With this mindset (I am evolving slowly),  I am not in the right frame to enter the group yet but I completely encourage you to be part of them and I will try my best to join you soon.

Dear Sahana,

How in the world is there a way to thank better for helping me realize my passion for farming. From no idea of farming to going back to my village to till the land that was left unused for 10 years was the beginning. And now the land has started to bear the fruit with us taking the veggies from farm to home. In fact in two weeks we are gonna start commercial production of Moringa which will be a landmark achievement of our early thirtees. Some things are going to be remembered through our life and when we grow old we can sit back and think about this. Wish we are gonna experiment more in farming sector and try ourselves to be involved much into it. Wish we enjoy this process and continue farming in coming years inspire of all the odds we might face.

Dear Sahana,

One of the best things I like you about is you spend more money buying books than other things. Usually we do less shopping compared this shopholic world and when we go shopping we go to Sapna book house. How cool is that to tell the world my wife loves to read more. Let us buy as many books as possible and read this year too. Keep reading more , keep learning more , keep updating yourself everyday. The next best thing I like about you is the way you keep things at home. Coming straight from a bachelor house, it took me almost two  years to adopt to the way your keeping things. Your home making is so beautiful and so special and I am all in love with it.

Dear Sahana,

Be an independent  girl of your dreams and I will be the wing for your flight. I wish you to come out even stronger this year to realize all your dreams.

                  Stay strong lady ! Happy birthday

A story to be told

         

         Story of every Indian family (Most of them at least!! )

A simple living but a hardworking father who has done everything possible to build a family of himself is leading the way forward. His palace in the background tells a story of its own when the immediate family members of him threw out of their house because of the sibling jealousy, he did not fear but built an empire along with his queen:his wife.

His wife: my mother is the woman behind this man's success and my father never fails to acknowledge the fact. His wife: my mother is a leader in every sense who has led the family in tough times. Look at her confidence, the way she is following every step of him assuring him of the fact that she is a true warrior princess who would standby her family any time. The true spirit of this woman:my mother is what generations to come has to know and learn.

On the side is their elder son:me who took all the benefits from the government schemes and successfully landed in urban space to make a living. It says earlier governments have still cared for rural development and there was hope. And now I hope to return to my place soon to make things better for many.

My brother is seen in the background and is yet to see the world. This picture was taken two years back but today he is ready to plunge into the wild as an officer in the forests of Mysore.  He is another classic example of a Kannada medium student who never gave up but has done good for himself.

A new lady has entered the pack recently but is not seen here as this was clicked before she entered. Her turn comes in the next episode which I might write after 25 years.

A brave father: the king, a warrior mother:the queen, two sons and a daughter in law is the story of my small family. We dream big but we are happy with what we have got. For some success and happiness may be an Ambani or a Tata but for me happiness is my family.

To my wife with love.. 2017

Dear Sahana,

Wish you a very happy birthday,

Dear Sahana, you turn 30 today and as I write this, I thank almighty, those awesome doctors who saved you and our friends who stood by our side during the toughest times of our lives. I want to make sure the next phase of life with me is going to be a very beautiful journey to remember. May be at 60, I will write another article to tell the world a greatest secret to a successful marriage. 

Dear Sahana, it’s not that we do not argue, yes we do argue but you win the argument every time by keeping quiet when it gets tough. You have an unbelievable patience when it comes to arguments.  And you do not forget to discuss about the same argument later to make me understand the problem. Thank you for adding a bit of patience in to me as well over the past year.

Dear Sahana, do you know that you are a great teacher? Yes, you are one of the best teachers a student is blessed to have. I tell you this because, when I spoke to you for hours before our marriage, you have told me number of inspiring stories. Remember this story I posted about your teaching impact in 2015

I know it is tough for you to continue your career as a teacher anymore but I feel you should plan and take some time out of your life to teach kids whenever you get time. 

Dear Sahana, you are the most beautiful soul I have met in my life. Every day I keep falling in love with you for the beautiful thoughts you speak. Your concern for the environment and humanity is something I want to replicate in my life as well. Your involvement in socially responsible works like planting trees every year and your thoughts on creating a platform to help the army veterans and their families is really a great thing. I am always with you in this deed of creating a better world for others.

Dear Sahana, your will-power is something to understand and to be studied yet because when some of the best doctors in India gave up on you, you came back to our lives like a magician who appears from nowhere. After a year of marriage, I sit back and think of your life before marriage and I fail to understand the undying spirit to live a respectful life you have lived all through these 29 years. I said I fail to understand but I immensely respect your life journey and it inspires me to think of all the good reasons to survive any struggle in the world.

Dear Sahana, probably you should stop cleaning the house too much and start having the breakfast at the right time. Remember your life is a gift of good things you have done and you should preserve it like a gem. Remember to stay healthy and stay fit.

Dear Sahana, 2016 was the toughest year of our life yet and we could overcome it with the help of many people. Doctors, Nurses and facility people at Narayana Hrudayalaya showed more humanity than business while treating you, our best friends took time out of their busy lives to invest in our future. They stood by our side and considered us as their own family, Dr. Shivu flew all the way from Delhi in spite of his exams to be with us and guide us. Know that there are many others who have indirectly helped us, spoke to me daily over the phone and guided us. We must keep this in mind and should celebrate their success as ours. Remember we must stand shoulder to shoulder during their tough times and must help them to come out of it. We must help others in distress. 

Dear Sahana, I am very proud of your new job at Dept. of commercial tax, GOK. You are more intelligent than you know and you should keep learning every day. Learn new things and create a new impact in the work space to make things easier for your colleagues. I know you are destined to make it big and I am always there to support you in your journey. 

Dear Sahana, let us not burn down too much running behind satisfying the norms of society but let us relax, have fun and live happily. A very happy birthday to you and wish you tons of success this year. 

Perfectionist he is !!

He was was not destined to be a champion but he was determined to be one - He is the perfectionist.

In India cricket is a religion, and Sachin is the "God of cricket". Cricket has spread to the roots and nerves of almost every Indian town and villages alike. I was 10 years old when I came to know the game of cricket. Our villagers never missed the Indian games. It was the age of Doordarshan, and everybody would gather at one place to watch the games.

For many, the game of cricket was nothing but Sachin. I have never heard them addressing Sachin by his name. They would always prefer calling him as the "Tiger" or the "Master Blaster”. Once Sachin gets out, many of them would stop watching the game. Sachin was like a thunderstorm, he would open the batting and destroy opponents. Once he is out, rest of the soldiers in the Indian side would evade like the winds fading away after a thunderstorm. But things changed, and they changed for the good of Indian cricket.

It was June 20, 1996. A game of test was played between India and England at the Lords cricket ground. Two legends made their debut. Saurav Ganguly went on to score a maiden hundred, and the other elegant 95 runs were added to the board by none other than Rahul Dravid, marking the birth of the perfectionist of Indian cricket. Dravid’ s bad luck with fame started in his debut match and continued until his retirement but he made sure that he never played for the fame and conducted himself in a way that every other cricketer would respect him and his game.

It was in the year 2000 when Indian cricket was plagued by the match-fixing scandal. People had lost all of their hopes on Indian cricket. Ganguly took over as the captain, Dravid was made the vice-captain, and the duo led India to a successful campaign in the one-day as well as in the Test format. If Sachin was a thunderstorm who would destroy the opponents, Dravid was the fortress who would never allow anyone to enter the safety walls of the Indian cricket's kingdom. At times, when Master blaster failed, the wall stood firm and strong.Eventually, Dravid proved everyone wrong that he cannot score runs in one day by piling up of huge runs in the 1999 world cup by scoring 461 runs at an average of 85 runs per match and went on to become the top scorer of the tournament.   His records are great and even

Eventually, Dravid proved everyone wrong that he cannot score runs in the one-day format by piling up huge runs in the 1999 World Cup by scoring 461 runs at an average of 85 runs per match and went on to become the top scorer of the tournament. His records are better than many of the best players but he always remained in the shadow. Probably, he never liked being in the limelight like cricketers of the current generation. If Sachin is a tiger, then Dravid is the Bull, the “bull beneath the earth”.

Dravid is a person who is capable of enduring the toughest of times. He never displayed a sense of being sidelined in a team of superstars. He is a perfectionist who crafted his game so well that the execution of his game was never off by an inch. He has set a path for everyone to follow. Dravid was never destined to become a champion but he was determined to become a champion. Time and again he has proved to be the most honest, and a man full of grace.

When there were talks of him being the coach of the national cricket team, he silently responded saying that, he needs to learn a lot before he takes up such a huge responsibility. He took the job of India's U-19 coach and the results are there for everyone to see. I can quote another instance when he proved that he is the gentleman everyone wants to be. Recently, the Bangalore University offered him an honorary doctorate but Dravid politely rejected it saying he would earn it by doing research in the field of sports.

Rahul Dravid is a phenomenon, he is not easy neither he is complex. He is like an ocean of knowledge, and his life is a lesson for everyone to follow. "If I packed only two sets of informal clothes, he would rotate them through an entire tour and not think about it. He doesn't care for gadgets and barely registers brands of watches, cologne or cars. But if the weight of his bat is off by a gram, he would notice it in an instant and get the problem fixed," Vijeta Dravid (Wife of Rahul Dravid) had once said. 

The Trees' Pledge

Old school Windows hurled at each other  making huge sounds. Winds blew heavily that afternoon with the unique sound of a whistle. And the students sat with absolute silence. Mamatha teacher continued to read a chapter with loud voice and the students kept listening to her keenly. Probably she is the first task master in the history of this government school to have marked full attendance on a rainy day. Students feared her in the beginning but later attended her classes voluntarily. I was a ten year old kid by then studying in fourth grade. It was the rainy season of the year 1995 and the year had witnessed some of the heaviest rainfall. The scent of the soil before rains used to be so good. It was another such day in the classroom and it rained continuously for almost two hours. Fearing even more heavy rainfall, our teacher let the students early so that children would reach their homes safely before it gets too late. Our teacher had started her career in our school as an assistant teacher. She resided in a village 5 km away from our school. Everyday she would walk to her home after the classes as there was no bus facility in our village in the evenings. As it was raining heavily she had to wait before she would walk back to her village. She waited in my home having a chat with my mother. It was already striking 5'0 clock in the evening and it was getting dark as there was no sun. On days like this, it was a routine for some of the students to go along with her all the way by walk and come back once she reached her home safely. So five of the students along with me joined her for the walk today. She was hurrying so that it would not be too late for all of us to come back.  The road we took was usually along the farms as it was shortcut. On either side of the roads were the tress and that made our way even darker. After a long gap of silence I interrupted "Teacher, the lake behind us and the trees on either side of the road makes it really scary right?" My teacher replied "Not really, why do you think so?" I responded "It's because of these trees on either side , our way has become even more darker and the sound of these frogs from the lake is really scary. If there were no trees here on the either side of the road, road would have been wider". Teacher Said "At the rate the humans are cutting the trees, a day would come when you will realize the value of trees. You should not be scary for the temporary darkness caused by these trees but you should be scared of the permanent darkness which is going to be caused by the absence of trees." Puzzled me asked " Teacher, what is that permanent darkness, how is it going to affect if there are no trees?". My teacher was always enthusiastic in answering our questions and I must say if I had practiced 50 percent of what she had taught us, I would have been even a better person than what I am today.  She continued "It's the trees and the water bodies that keeps the environment stable. Trees help better rainfall every year and rain fall would help the agriculture. With better rainfall, the temperatures would be optimum and all of us will stay healthy." 

                                              I was reluctant enough to end our conversation so kept pleading her for more explanation "Teacher , tell us what is the after effect of cutting trees?" , teacher smiled at me and continued " See, we live in villages and hence the it takes time to understand how the trees are cut and used for human needs. Let me explain you like this. Now you are in fourth standard, later you would go to cities to pursue education and your career. Similarly like you, thousnads of students would go to cities for the same reason. The trees would be cut and used for building offices, homes and other modern infrastructure. And at the rate which trees are cut now,  the number of trees would be too less to maintain the balance in the environment. 

Water bodies get dried up and rainfall would be very less. As a result it affects the villages and hence the agriculture. With the inefficient agricultural practices due to shortage of water, people would lose interest in farming. Later everybody would move to urban areas thus creating a mess out of everything. Ecosystem is completely affected, people would start crying for water , this time not for farming but for drinking. One day with lack of agriculture and water human beings end up dying and then comes the extinction of human race." We had almost reached her home but something was bothering me so much that I still had questions to ask for her "Teacher, what can we do to stop this?". Teacher replied "Ok, everyone come inside. We will discuss over a cup of tea." We rushed inside her home. We had a sort of nice feeling going inside our teacher's home and having a cup of tea. She offered us some snacks along with tea and continued to speak "Dear children, only good thing you can do now is to plant as many trees as possible so that it would save  your future and never encourage anyone to cut trees." After advising the word of good , she let us go home. In villages , children never walked the distances but would run wherever they wanted to go. We started and ended our run only once we reached our homes. After my fourth grade I joined another school and gradually forgot the words of my teacher. As everyone, I too came out to Bangalore for my engineering in the year 2005. I had found Bangalore very nice city to live in. Bangalore gave me a degree, a hell lot of friends, wonderful memories and a job to survive for the rest of my life. But there came the difference when I had to leave Bangalore to pursue my career. I started my professional career in Dubai soon after my engineering and I still remember how horrible the weather was. Usually the temperature used to be more than 40 degrees. It had rained only once in almost 450 days of my stay in Dubai. I was horribly missing Bangalore weather. I spent every minute under Air conditioners which I hated. I couldn't find regular rains, cool breeze and much more. I finally decided to come back to Bangalore and on the day I arrived back, the very first exciting thing to me was when our flight captain announced the weather update. He had announced "The temperature outside is 21°c." 

Facebook status on day I arrived.

That was the first thing that excited me coming back to Bangalore. The city is known for its gardens and the weather. At times when the whole country used to burn of heat waves, it used to rain in Bangalore. We Bangaloreans used to boast of this to outsiders. But today Bangalore is burning at 40 degrees when the temperature at Chennai and Dubai is around 30 degrees. Karnataka and Maharashtra are facing the worst ever drought in last 40 years. And weather  experts predict it is going to be even high in coming years.
                                      Here comes the basic question? What led to this condition. Life is a full circle and the answer leads to where I started this write up. My teacher had predicted this condition twenty years back and had advised students like us to protect the ecosystem. I had completely forgot her words in this war of life. They say it is better late than never. So this year with all the due respect to my teacher, I am taking her words seriously and pledging to plant trees. Why should I pledge in a public forum ? Why not I do it silently? Yes, here is my answer. I alone cannot do much impact to this mission. I want people like you to be part of this mission and take responsibility in planting trees. There are so many organizations or groups which are actively doing this work from years. One of them I know is VrurkshaMitra group lead by some of my own friends. I have seen their work and the impact they have created. VrukshaMitra is a group of like minded people which organizes plantation activity every year. Everybody can create their own groups or individually can go back to your natives to plant as many number of trees as possible. I will try my best to be part of such groups from this year and would contribute in plantation activities. Here by I pledge to plant 20 trees this year. And I will try my best to pull out 10 friends of mine to do the same. I request you to pledge the number of trees in your own capacity. Why you must pledge? Pledging gives you an additional responsibility so that you will not miss out giving reasons. This rainy season, join me in planting trees so that after twenty years our children don't suffer the same that we are suffering now. Share this message to everyone in your list and pledge your number of trees. usually 200 members read up my article every time I publish and if all 200 people pledge ten trees at least the count would be 2000 trees. Just imagine how big impact its gonna create if we can plant and take care of two thousand trees. If we continue this tradition for years to come and the results would be tremendous. I know its easy to pledge and ask people to do but that's how we can start giving it back to the future generations. Nothing is impossible until and unless we stop criticizing any idea , criticizing others, criticizing government for everything but jump into action to create a better future. 


PS: The teacher I mentioned is Mrs Mamatha Nagahanumaiah who was my teacher in government primary school, Singravuthanahalli.  

Bangalore Diaries …

20th November 2015........

I was knocked on to the footpaths of Mysore-Bangalore Highway fatally injured. Blood oozed out of my eye brows and I could barely move my right hand. I couldn't speak a word and couldn't breathe properly. Her hands held my body and pulled me on her laps. She was crying loud and She started screaming for help “Help me please, can someone tell me where the hospital is, somebody call 108 now”. It was paining a lot and I was finding it tough to breathe easy but I couldn't. Nobody came to help us. I was slowly losing the consciousness………..

                                                I could hear the sound of the beach. Waves were hitting the beach hard and winds blew heavily. I was in a different world altogether. I spoke loud and louder and now even louder... Mom rushed into my bedroom and held me. She asked "What’s happening with you my son? Are you alright!!? It’s too late for your college now that you should stop dreaming and get ready". Lazy that I am, looked at my clock and it was about to strike 8 am in the morning. I recounted the memories, incidents and fights all over these wonderful four years and it was the last day of my engineering degree. There was some sort of uncomfortable feeling as I had to leave all the friends and move on with life. And also there was a satisfaction that I had achieved something great with completion of engineering degree. As I was immersed in these thoughts, my mom came to my room with a cup of coffee and wished me a good day. I woke up and had a long shower. As it was the last day, I pulled up a good dress from my wardrobe and dressed for the occasion. Mom from the kitchen said "My dear son, come on its time up now and your breakfast is ready". I wondered why these mothers are so caring and so beautiful. Appam tasted so good and I had four in a row. After many years I felt like I should fall at my mother's feet for everything she has given to me and I did so which surprised my mother. But she did bless me the best in the world and bid good bye. I started my RX100 bike with a staggering sound and rode hard towards the college. I had reached earlier than everyone except that one beautiful lady. As I parked my bike I looked towards the open air theatre. A special friend of mine waited for me holding a gift wrapped box. She was dressed up in a blue saree with a sparkling ear ring which highlighted her beauty. I wondered if she was the only beautiful girl I have ever seen in this world. I looked at her face and it was filled with excitement. She stood up as I neared her, her eyes widened and ran towards me. As she ran, I crumbled and held my breath. My knees became weak and I lost my senses. She reached me and hugged me tight. I didn't even realize that we are inside the college campus, tears rolled down her face. She couldn't control her emotions. Nidhi yelled from the back "ANANYA, ANANYA" ...

                                                               Oh Yes! She is Ananya Nair from Palakkad. It’s been four years that we are studying together in NIT Calicut. I still remember the first time I saw her at the reception counter during admissions to the college. I waited at the reception with few of my queries to be solved. She was nowhere but came running into the building rushing towards the counter, pushed few boys out there and spoke fluently for two minutes. I kept watching her, wishing that she would be joining my stream so that we can be in the same class. It seemed she was happy with answers at the reception counter; she left the building with a smile. With all my queries answered I left for our classes. I stopped at the door of my classroom and there was no one except two girls. One of them looked at me and just smiled. The other girl kept reading the stuffs written on the walls without even bothering to see me. I entered the classroom and walked towards the girl who smiled at me and spoke to her “Hi I am Rakshith Menon from Calicut”. She smiled and replied “Hello I am Nidhi Shetty from Mangalore”. As we exchanged greetings the other girl turned towards us and greeted me with a handshake. “Hello Rakshith, I am Ananya Nair from Palakkad. If I am not wrong you were the one sitting in the reception dumb folded and staring at me right!?” I was in shock for a while but recovered soon to respond “Actually I was staring you for the reason that you were in such a hurry to push those boys out there and get your queries solved first”. She responded immediately “No really! I didn't mean to push them but I was in a mess that’s all”. I just nodded as I was already finding it odd to continue the conversation. We settled down and the classes began after an hour with many of the students coming down to the class. Soon Ananya and I became best friends and gradually she wasmy mom’s best friend as well. Our friendship continued for years with shared lunches, weekend outings, silly fights, late night calls, movies and more. As we came to our last year of engineering, our bonding became even stronger and I still remember that day when she had cried whole night for I had picked up a fight with a local group over a sensitive issue. On different occasions we had expressed our feelings emotionally. But today was the day I had decided to ask if she is okay to live with me for the rest of her life…

                                                             Irritated Ananya moved from me and turned back rising her eyebrows meant to ask why Nidhi is yelling so loud. Nidhi had come all the way to take Ananya for the group pictures of their girls’ gang. So I had to leave Ananya and go back to meet my friends back in the auditorium. The day came to an end with all the group pictures, bidding good byes to teachers and more. It was around four ‘o clock in the evening and I had planned one last ride from the campus of NIT Calicut. I went straight to Ananya where she was still busy clicking pictures with her friends and pulled her to the corner saying “Ananya, I need your time for one last ride with me before we finish engineering”. She gladly accepted and asked me to wait in parking lot. I waited in the parking lot with a chewing a gum and after ten minutes I could see her walking towards my bike. It was the evening light that fell on her face making her look so cute that I felt like running towards and lift her. I have a very abnormal but a beautiful disease that whenever I see her so beautiful, automatically my brain would go slow and my heartbeats heavier. She walked elegantly in the saree and my brain started working slow. I stood speechless and she pulled my cheek hard. I came back to my senses and I started my bike. She sat behind me and I rode out of our college. We crossed busy roads of Kozhikode and got into National Highway 212. She spoke now “Where are we going Raks?” I said “surprise”. She spoke again “Did you open the gift box that I gave you?” I replied “Yes the very next moment you left”. She laughed “Did you like it?” I turned back “Shall I kiss you?” She got shocked “Shall I kill you for that? How dare you idiot?” I didn't speak but kept riding. She could read the sign boards as we rode. “Raks!, dear are you sure where we are going now?” I replied “Yes dear, I am very sure”. I parked my bike in the parking zone and we walked silently. By the time she had realized my plan. I looked at her face; she was blushing and looked down as she walked. Cool breeze blew and the sun was setting in the sea. We were in the Kappad beach. I had told a secret to her when I was in third year of engineering. I had told her that, I am in love with a girl and I would be proposing her on the last day of my engineering on a sunset beach. Unusually calm beach, beautiful sunset and the coconut trees on the beach with few birds on them made the ambience very romantic. We walked a hundred meters, we stopped. I held her hands kneeled down on the sand as the beach waters touched our feet. I took a ring from my pocket and asked the most important question of my life “Will you marry me Ananya?” Tears rushed down from her cheeks as she giggled. She said “Yes my dear Raks! I love you so much”. And she kept repeating the same lines…………

                                    “Raks stop dreaming; don’t let me just live in your dreams! I love you so much, please wake up! Raks dear, please wake up, there are hundreds of promises that you have made to me, please wake up, I love you.” I slowly opened my eyes to see Ananya worried and crying. Ananya spoke something in a language that I never tried to learn “Anna swalpa neer kodi”. A villager stood near me and was looking at me strangely. Ananya gave me some water and I drank. I asked her “What happened?” She said “Relax, I will tell you everything later. I love you so much”. I slowly recollected as I lay on bed. I asked “What day it is?” Ananya said “Thursday, it’s been three days” I was driving at 120 kms per hour on Bangalore Mysore highway back from Kerala. Ananya my wife and three of our friends were in the car. All of us had graduated from NIT Calicut four years back and was working in Bangalore for various IT companies. It was around 02:00 PM in the midnight. It was a long drive from Calicut to Bangalore. I was tired a bit but Bangalore was just another 100 kms from the last signboard I saw. Ananya sat in the front seat and kept me in conversation till a few minutes back. It was continuous stretch of 3 kms straight drive without any curves or vehicles. I closed my eyes for three seconds and the next moment there was a huge sound from the front bumper. Yes, I had hit the corner wall of the road and our car was flying to land outside the road. Before I realized what had happened I was lying on the road thrown out of driver seat. Ananya wore the seat belt which had saved her from any injury. My friends in the back were also hit hard and were in absolute shock. There were no vehicles on the road due to a strike in some parts of Karnataka. Some of the on lookers rushed to the spot and Ananya was screaming for help. Nobody understood what she meant. I had gone unconscious after that moment. It was three days since I last saw Ananya and the world. Ananya sat beside my hospital bed spoke to me now “See Raks, He is Nanjegowda, who saved you by giving the first aid”. He was the same man who looked at me strangely once I opened my eyes after three days. I folded my hands and he just smiled. I asked “What happened?” Ananya responded “The very moment you fell on the road, you were bleeding a lot and I was shouting for help, everyone looked at me but no one came to help. They just gave few bottles of water. I was really tensed and I did not know how to handle the situation. Some of them spoke in Kannada “Ee hudgi en mataadtavlo en katheno, yav baddi haidange artha agutralla?” (Translated from Kannada:  What the hell is this girl speaking, is there anyone who can understand her words?). I still didn’t realize, I kept asking for help as the blood was oozing out heavily from your eyebrows. I was terrified and shivering as no one was responding to my questions. It was getting late but I was helpless. Then they forced me to drink water. I drank some water and they asked me “Yav uramma nimdu?” Then I realized and replied in Kannada “Namdu kerala, nange en madbeko gottagtilla. Yavdaadru aaspatre karkondogbeku. Tumba blood barta ide” (Translated from Kannada: We are from Kerala. I have no clue on what to do. He is bleeding so much, Need to get him to any hospital soon.) Then immediately they responded and said there was no hospital nearby but had to take you to Mandya, a district place. We tried to call the ambulance and for our fate, the ambulance facilities were two hours far. Our car had broken down completely and then I could talk to them fluently to get their vehicle so that we would take you to the hospital. By the time they responded it was very late but it was better late than never. Yes if I had not realized and responded them in Kannada, the story would have been completely different than what it is now. The villagers took you all the way to the hospital and doctor appreciated the efforts of them”

                                                            I just listened to Ananya as she explained the series of events. Then I recollected four years of my stay in Bangalore and I had never bothered to learn the language. The only good thing that I had done was to love this sensible girl Ananya who had mastered local language within the span of four years. Many times, she had insisted me to learn the same but I had ignored. Today as I, Rakshith Menon from Kerala lay on the beds of a hospital in Mandya district of Karnataka dreaming of my mom and how I met Ananya; the real saviour was the local language. Not every time we drive to the places where people speak my language. I learnt one of the most basic and important lesson of my life – “Learn the local language as fast as you can and as fluently as you can, it may save your life.”